"So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.  There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most."

Hebrews 4:16

In North Carolina it's that time of year dreaded by children, teachers, and parents from the first day of school in August.  It's that time when students are instructed to "get plenty of rest and eat a healthy breakfast".  Parents do their best to encourage their children without stressing them out about the importance of a test that can essentially cause them to repeat a grade.  And teachers and staff just try to stay sane while their "performance" is judged based on their students' scores.  What could insight such dread, fear, and stressfulness?.....EOGs, of course!! 

With three sons, we've had our share of End of Grade tests over the years since they began, and I can definitively say, "We're NOT fond!!".  We've always told our boys to do their best but not to let it stress them out.  Easy for us to say!!  They know what these tests mean and, though they put on a good face and pretend not to be worried, they get a little unnerved.

I have a lot of friends in the same boat and over the years we've made it a habit to pray for eachothers' children and the teachers and staff along with our own kids.  We text, email, and call one another with encouraging words and prayers.  This year has been no different.  I have two boys taking EOGs and one taking an AP exam.   So with my work cut out for me, I sat down with my prayer journal this morning ready to call on the One who can bring peace to the worried heart. 

Most of the time when I pray for others I say something like, "Lord, I lift up so and so to you".  But, for some reason, today I pictured God sitting on His throne with Jesus at His right side and me actually taking each of my children to the throne to be blessed.  I've seen numerous movies depicting a priest or a king surrounded by throngs of people seeking "blessings".  But never have I seen God in such a way.  I can't count the times I've read the words of Hebrews 4:16.  But it never occurred to me how very literal they are.

Today God gave me a glimpse into the Heavenlies.  I took my children right to His feet and He blessed them!   He touched them with His hand of blessing and peace.   Yeah, I know, it's just EOGs.  But contrary to what the evil one would have us believe, our God cares about every detail.  He wants us to "come boldly"!  I am so thankful that He does.  So much of parenting is learning that you cannot be everything for your children.  You cannot be with them and protect them 24/7....but HE CAN!   And at His throne "we will find grace to help us when we need it most."

Blessings,

Ann-Marie





Hi Ho, Hi Ho...

This is my firstborn.  He's fourteen now and much taller than his mamma, but he's still very much my baby. 

That's why today was a bitter sweet day for me.

Today my baby "went to work" for the first time!

Brandon has been talking for months now about wanting to find a summer job.  That's all fine and good, but he's only fourteen!

But he has refused to let his age be a deterrent.

So, long story short, he called his cousin who has some connections with the local farmers.

 Sure enough, cuz hooked him up and today he worked his little hiney off loading hay.

(somewhere around 1200 square bales between 6 guys!)

When I picked him up this afternoon he was covered in so much hay and dirt I barely recognized him.

But I wasn't thinking so much about his appearance as I was thinking,

"My little boy is becoming a man!"

As proud as I am of my son for wanting to work and working so hard, there is another part of me that is so reluctant to accept this new stage of his life.

I know that him having a job makes him that much less dependant on me and that is scary.

I know that my children are on loan from God and He has a perfect plan for each of their lives.  So as they race their way to independence I pray!

  I pray that God will give me the strength to give them wings.

Miller in the Middle

Our middle son Miller turned 12 over the weekend.  (isn't he a cutie!!)    We threw a little Surprise Party for him with a Survivor Man type theme.  He's totally into all the "survival skills"!  He's always drawing up plans for a cabin in the woods where he can live a Jeremiah Johnson existence, "off the grid", living off the land.

                               I can totally picture it!

  Funny thing about having three children of the same sex...they're nothing alike!  Aside from the fact that they are all of the male species, they are all three quite unique.  Miller is not only different from his brothers, he's different than a lot of 12-year-olds.  I Love that about him.  He's blazing his own trail, the Lone Ranger of middle schoolers! I pray that he will keep that spirit of independence and adventure throughout his life.  It's something I wish I would have had at his age.  Who am I kidding...I wish I had it now!

I find it ironic that I turned 40 this year and I want to be more like my 12-year-old!  I want to worry less about people's opinions of me.  I want to be more adventerous.  I want to be different.  I want to dream big!

I'm a firm believer that God teaches us some of His greatest lessons  through our children.  Thank you God for Miller and all that I am learning through him everyday.

"Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from Him"

Psalm127:3

Naptime!

Aren't naps the Bees Knees!  My eight-year-old, Jackson, still thinks so.  (And, of course, my dog agrees.)   My two older sons gave up naps for good by age three, (but not Jackson!  He would take a nap every day if we would let him.  He comes home from school and we have to race to get his homework finished before he gets too tired.  Then we try to keep him busy enough that he doesn't sit down and fall asleep.  It just makes me laugh because you know that if we wanted him to come home and take a snooze everyday after school...no way Jose!  Jackson is one of those children who is always three steps ahead of you.  The Lord blessed him with a servant's heart. He knows what you need before you do. I often joke that he makes a better hostess than I do!  And I can't tell you how many times his teachers have told me of his "helpfulness" in class.  I just cringe imagining him taking over when he is dissatisfied with her teaching skills. 

So my theory is that Jackson is so busy taking care of everyone all day that by 3:00 he is slap worn out!  So, on some days, (like this one!) I relent and let the Grumpy Bear rest.  Because I know one day soon, I'll turn around and he'll be 18 and won't have time for naps.

I better go...this is making me sleepy!

P.S. Jackson's two brothers tease me that he is never going to move out.  They say that their dad and I will just have to move out one day while he is napping!!  They think they're soo funny!!

Be Careful What You Pray For!

I WONDER
by Ruth Harms Calkin

You know, Lord, how I serve you

With great emotional fervor

In the limelight.

You know how eagerly I speak for you

At a women's club.

You know how I effervesce when I promote

A fellowship group.

You know my genuine enthusiasm

At a Bible study.

But how would I react, I wonder

If you pointed to a basin of water

And asked me to wash the calloused feet

Of a bent and wrinkled old woman

Day after day

Month after month

In a room where nobody saw

And nobody knew.

Lately as I pray for my children, I've been particularly burdened to pray for their humility. I know they're kids and humility is a stretch. But my personal struggles with the beast of pride and the falls that resulted have left an indelible scar that I do not want my children to bear in their own lives. Put simply, I would much rather they humble themselves than for God to be forced to humble them!

Well, as they say, "Be careful what you pray for!" As so often is the case, God turned the tables on me. After a few days of earnestly pleading for my children in this area and asking Him to give them a sincere desire to seek His glory rather than their own, God asked me a question. "Ann-Marie, are you modeling humility for your children?"

AWWWW, nuts!!! I was really hopeful He was just going to take care of this one for me. You know, "let go and let God!" I was humbly admitting that I couldn't change their hearts! And, after 14 years of motherhood, I knew no amount of me talking would change anything. So I was taking it to the One who can get through to them and can change their hearts. But with all these years under my belt, I should have also known that He always uses our relationships with our children to teach us about our relationship with Him.

In the weeks that have followed, I have taken an honest and difficult look at myself. Wow! All I can say is, "Thank you, Father!" Thank you for your mercy and your love in spite of my prideful ways. He daily gives me so many opportunities to model humility and true servanthood and I'm ashamed to say that MANY times I have literally turned my nose up in response. I've even joked that everyone can't be a servant or there would be no one to serve. OUCH!

I'm happy to report that my prayers for my children have changed. I now ask God to change me and my heart so that I can model for my children humility and true servanthood. And just like I am powerless to change my boys' hearts, I am powerless to change my own. But PRAISE THE LORD, He is able!!!

Remember...Be Careful What You Pray For!!

P.S. Leave a comment and you could win a prize!!! I just finished reading a great book by Christian speaker and author, Lysa TerKeurst entitled, Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl. I couldn't put it down! In fact, I loved it so much I want to give away a copy. So leave a comment and become a follower of the blog and I'll pick one random person to win her own copy of the book. Be sure and leave your name and a way for me to contact you.

Have a blessed one...

Ann-Marie

The Luxury of Questions

I love the writings of the late Oswald Chambers. Last year Brad bought 'My Utmost for His Highest' and we've been using it as our devotional since then. Of course there are days that I don't even open it, but on the days that I do...WOW! I never fail to be challenged in my faith. Today's passage was no exception. I would sum it up this way...Abandonment to God means "to refuse yourself the luxury of asking any questions."

My middle son, Miller, is a questioner who is never satisfied with simple answers. He wants to know all the details about which most of us don't even care. In fact, my husband and I often joke that when you tell Miller something you better be ready to answer at least ten questions on the given subject. I often feel that I've reached my "legal limit" and tell him, "Okay, enough questions!". When I read this morning's devotional, it occured to me that, at times, I accost God in the same way. (Swallow hard!)

The scenario usually goes something like this: I seek wisdom and guidance from God. I pray for Him to reveal His will in a certain area. He answers my request and I start in with my questions; questions like, "You want me to do what?", "Are you sure, God?" , "But what about this?", "Can I do it this way instead?", "Do I have to do that right now?". I think you get the idea. Although I love the Lord with all my heart and I pray regularly that I will seek His will above my own, I still act like a child sometimes and have to know all the whys, what fors, and hows!

God knows that in my heart I long to live in total abandonment to Him and to refuse myself "the luxury of asking questions." The words of Mr. Chambers hit me hard! But, I am humbled and thankful to know that, unlike me when my child pelts me with dozens of questions, my heavenly Father is infinitely patient.

This whole line of thought is just another of the many fascinating paradoxes I find in God's word. Think of it this way: God wants us to live in complete abandonment without question, but He also tells us to "Ask and it will be given...". When I put the two truths together I realize that if I want a life of unquestioning abandonment to my King I simply need to ASK! How cool is that!!!

Dear Lord,
I ask you to help me to give up the luxury of questions!! Help me to live a life of reckless abandonment to you!
I love you!

Fall Fun!!

We had such a nice weekend! Brandon's football game was cancelled because of rain that left the field too muddy. For the first time in months, that meant a Saturday with nowhere we had to go. Did you hear that? I said NOWHERE!!! I started the day off the best way I knew how...I slept until 11:00! I spent the rest of the day doing what I love...piddling. I did a little of this and a little of that and a lot of nothing.

Aside from feeling like we could just breath a little we had a blast watching the boys play. On Friday we took Miller to Dick's so that he could buy himself a "fire starter". You know the little piece of flint that you scrape to make a spark. They sell them in the camping section. Of course, we gave VERY strict instructions as to its use. "Only on the concrete or in the sandbox!!" The mother in me was really rebelling against the whole notion of my beloved ten-year-old starting his own fire. I knew this was more serious than the magnifying glass he usually weilded. But after 12 years with boys I've learned that they just have to do some things. (Although, even as I write this I'm wondering WHY? )

So, after assuring us that he would use caution, stay in the sandbox, and keep his 6-year-old brother out of the fire (roll of the eyes, because the 6-year-old has to be included!), he rushes off with visions of infernos dancing in his head.

I perched myself in my cozy chair and a half which is strategically positioned in front of the window facing the sandbox. What I witnessed over the course of the afternoon cannot be described in words. But what is it they say about pictures?....

These are the days we'll remember...